I’m going to use this post to talk about two things. First and foremost, I’m in my college dorm right now! This is so surreal. I honestly can’t believe this day is here and I’m beginning the rest of my life. It’s terrifying to know this is where I will call home for the next several months, but now that I’m here I know I can do this. I am ready for this change.
Of course I miss my family more than anything and it kills me to be away from home but I need this. I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone and put myself out there.
This will bring me into the main idea of this post.
I’m recovering from a hard few years. I am for sure no where near where I need to be but THANK GOD I am not where I used to be. I think sometimes people like to turn a blind eye to the fact about how bad depression can get. This is not a joke. This is nothing to mess around with. If someone tells you they are considering suicide, tell someone immediately. It’s so so so so so so so SO SO SO so so so so important to help that person get help. You honestly don’t realize how one person can honestly save a life.
Depression drags you into depths you never thought possible. I was in a deep deep hole and I didn’t think I would ever come out. But here I am today, starting the rest of my life. Of course I still deal with all the repercussions, but here I am. I’m alive. I’m breathing. To be brutally honest, I didn’t know if I would make it here. But I am proving a lot of people wrong (including myself) and I am ready to take on this life.
I will never be “normal.” I will never be able to be off medicine. I will never not feel anxious in group settings. I will never not have bad days. I will always be like this, but I am so much better than I used to be.
I had to decide I was worth the recovery. I had to tell myself my life is worth living.
Every 6 seconds someone commits suicide. SIX SECONDS.
I am in recovery. I am starting to get better than I was.
It’s choosing to change. It’s deciding to believe tomorrow will be better than today. I love love love the quote, “even your hardest days are 24 hours.” That just helps remind myself that tomorrow is a new start. I had to make the decision to recover, because if I didn’t I would not be good. I am so lucky to have people who have supported me. I will tell you right now one of the best things you can do if you are depressed is simply to talk to someone. Sometimes just getting it off your chest and crying it out will make you feel better. No, it will not make the pain go away or fix anything. But it can help ease the pain. Especially if you talk to someone who knows what you are feeling. It’s hard to talk to those who don’t understand. If someone feels comfortable enough with you to come to you about something like this, tread lightly.
This is what I suggest to those who don’t understand;
Don’t try! You will never truly understand until you go through it yourself. You can listen to us talk for hours and hours but you will never know what we are feeling. You will only know what we tell you. Don’t tell us you understand when you don’t. Don’t tell us it will be okay when you don’t know that. Empathy vs Sympathy is by biggest thing. Don’t ever feel sorry for us, just be there for us. If we are trying to recover, and get better we do not want to be felt sorry for. We are doing this for us because our life is worth living.
They always say admitting your problem is the first step to recovery but it’s true. Reaching out and telling someone what you are feeling is the best way to get on the road to recovery.
My road is really long. I’ve come far, but I have a long way to go. But that’s okay! I’m on a long road paved with good intentions.
So here’s to the rest of my life and beginning college. Today a speaker told us that these aren’t the best 4 years of our lives, but they are the first 4 years of our lives. I am worth the recovery. I am worth the time. I am worth the space. I AM WORTH IT. AND YOU ARE TOO. Please please please talk to me if you ever need anything. I have been through a lot. So please feel free to talk to me. Even if I don’t 100% understand what you are feeling, I will always be here to listen to anything you need to get off your chest and offer you the help you need.
Until next time–
Above I posted a link to what are called Pure Vida Bracelets. I ordered like 6 of them. (Thanks, Skylar for showing me:) These bracelets are amazing. They are hand made in Costa Rica and creating so many jobs for people down there. The best part is each bracelet you buy out of the charity section gets donated to the designated fund. In the link, the depression, and suicide awareness ones are on that if you were interested.
Also, September 10th is Suicide Awareness Day as well as Suicide Awareness Week that week, and everyone should check out this blog and buy the shirt to support it. Or simply wear orange that day/week to show your support. “We’ll see you tomorrow.”