Hello fellow readers,
My last two posts have had sort of a negative connotation but this one is going to be happy—er. 🙂
Instead of tell you all the reason I’m going to hate college, I’m going to share the reasons I’m actually going! Smart, huh?
Well let me start here with a little background. I went to a small school, most of you know this, my whole life. I graduated with 50 some. So, pretty small. All my years in high school, I thought I had the best friends a girl could ask for and at the time, they were exactly what I needed! Quickly after graduating I realized those people weren’t my “friends” they were there with me 5 or more days a week. People that I grew up with.. People that had to be around me. Honestly, the biggest thing I am so excited for is to find people who genuinely want to be around me. People who pick to hangout with me and are not forced to be with me all day everyday. It is one of the most mind-blowing thing that I will be around people who actually like my presence. I will have friends that like me for me and that is one of the most motivating things ever. I get to find my friends that will be in my life forever, and I can’t wait.
After spending so much time with the same people, you try to fit in. I realize now I spent a whole lot of time being someone I’m not to try to fit in. But, who hasn’t? I’m so excited to finally be myself in college. I’m so ready to finally figure out who I am, and not have to work to please anyone. I am on the road to discover myself, and its a beautiful road paved with diamonds but I know it will have its cracks and imperfections.
–you can tell I’m very metaphorical–
I can finally have independence. Believe me, it BLOWS my mind that in 2 short weeks I won’t have to ask my mom if I can go to a movie with my friend, or have a friend stay over. Please don’t get me wrong, I would not trade my parents for the world. They are just being great parents. They know, just as well as I do, is that I need this independence. I have relied on my family for so much throughout my whole life, this is the little push I need to finally figure things out for myself. Of course I will want to come home every weekend and see my family, but I know this is what I need. This is what is going to make the difference. (Don’t worry mom, I’ll text you everyday:)
It took me a while to finally figure out what I want to do with my future, but now that I know I can not WAIT to get started. I’m so ready to take classes that pertain to my future, not just classes to pass high school. Every class is one step closer to becoming a teacher and I cannot wait for that day. I know I will make a bad ass teacher, I’m just very impatient.
I’m just ready for this change in my life. Like I said before, I have been with the same people since diapers. I have loved my time with them, but its time for all of us to move on. We have made many great memories, but its time to go make new ones. I feel like I have been stuck in cement for the past few years and I’m finally freeing myself and taking my first steps on my own again. I am ready to find myself, and be who I know I am capable of being.
I know this change will be hard. Probably the hardest thing I have ever done– but I have to keep reminding myself that this is going to be worth it. I need this change. Maybe this will be the key to unlock so many things keeping my chained down. Who know what can happen. I have to really think about the positives. Clearly my list of the things I’m scared for is slightly longer than the reasons I’m excited– but this list reminds me why I’m doing this. I’m doing this for me, and no one else. I deserve a new start, and that’s exactly what I am getting on August 19th.
Until next time–
“You can’t start a new chapter in your life if you keep rereading the old one.”